Real vs. Ideal

Here's a quick shot of wisdom for young and old people alike.  This is a lesson I wish I had learned earlier in life.

Always see people for who they are, not for who you want them to be.

Don't idealize.  It's not wise.  Reality is always better.  This is true in any relationship.  It does not matter if you are a young adult dating, a married couple, a parent, or a best friend.  Seeing people as they really are, will set you free to love them more completely and will keep you from stumbling too.   

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Sometimes the pain and frustration we experience with others occurs because we do not accept the truth of what is real in our relationships.  We live one bad experience after another while making excuses.

"She must be tired.  That's why she ignored me at school."
"She is an introvert, so I must have worn her out and she didn't want to talk."
 "He never helps me at home because he's tired from his long day at work."
"She's not doing drugs.  She's a good girl."
"He has been overwhelmed.  That's why he forgot to pay the bills....again."

 We give too much grace and do not participate in honest discussion and active accountability.  It's easier to idealize, than look at what is real and act upon that the truth.  When we idealize someone else, we are participating in denial.  When we deny what it is real, we have chosen to live in darkness.  Jesus does not want us to dwell in the darkness!

"If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." 1 John 1:6

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

 
It is not easy to see the truth sometimes, but the alternative is blindly following an ideal down a slippery slope of darkness.  That is not only a more difficult journey, but far more dangerous, with much less hope for a favorable and God honoring outcome.

"The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble." Proverbs 4:19 

The truth is two fold -  we are all sinners living in a fallen world and we are God's beloved children.   Since we have fallen short of His glory, (Romans 3:23), we need to purpose ourselves to walk in the light of His truth. 

Imagine a world where "real," was better than "ideal."  That's where I want to live.

Grateful for Grace,