Graduation Day

My oldest son graduated from our local community college with certification in auto body and collision today.  We are so proud of him!

This young man finished high school in 2010, decided to take a year to work, while taking classes at the local community college toward a degree in environmental science.  After a year or so, he was fairly certain he would never be able to support a family as a park ranger, and he could not envision himself working in a lab.  Most of all, he definitely did not want to spend six years getting a master's degree so he could earn $30,000 a year.  He researched his options, and wrestled with reality until he came to the conclusion that a trade program might serve him better. 

Matt is all about good stewardship, and loves, loves, loves all things old and antique.  He also wanted to be able to serve others in some capacity.  He thought mechanics, but when we toured the college's trade program facilities, another program caught his attention.  Auto Body and Restoration.  Matt loved the idea of restoration, and he liked the idea of being able to work with his hands to serve others.  He took some more time to think about things, and ultimately registered for the program in August of 2013. 

Twelve months of hands on instruction, book work and projects, followed by six months of paid internship - first with a collision company, and then with an awesome restoration auto body shop that primarily works on vintage and antique automobiles.  Matt has learned so much and grown so strong. 

Today, I followed my son home after the graduation ceremony. It struck me how confidently he drove.  The traffic was heavy in one spot, but Matt merged onto the highway without hesitation.  I knew immediately that the Lord was showing me something important. Matt was not a little boy anymore.  My heart panged a moment as I realized that God had loosed Matt from my apron strings.  It certainly didn't happen today. It had already happened - sometime in the last few years. 

The sun was high in the sky as I continued to watch him drive.  Where had my little boy gone?

Matt (12) and Grace (newborn)

As I pulled in the driveway my heart lightened.  Standing in the yard was the man my son had become.


So grateful.

Homeschooling: When Expectation Meets Reality

[caption id="attachment_1892" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Photo courtesy of Carissa Rogers[/caption]

 

We've been homeschooling for seventeen years.  If I've learned anything it is that reality is very different from expectation, and if we are too focused on expectations, we may miss out on the opportunities that God wants us to use to teach our children about Him.

This week we began homeschooling after a long summer of rest.  We usually school year round, but I gave my daughter the summer off because she had a rough year with math.  We both needed a break.  So when I began to plan our week, I carefully crafted an easy week - a transition back into learning.  My expectation was that my daughter would gratefully and pleasantly go about her learning with enthusiasm and patience.

Gulp.

Okay, stop laughing.

Day 1 was met with groans and attitude.

Day 2 was met with frustration and exasperation.

Day 3 was full meltdown, complete with tears.

At first I wanted to be angry.  After all, I had spent time being careful with my plans.  I had not planned anything that was beyond her ability.  I felt she was being selfish, and rebellious.  I was done. with. the. drama. Then God whopped me upside my heart and told me to listen to HER heart - that the words she chose to use indicated a deeper issue.  On Day 4, I sat with her because she had become upset during a writing lesson.  The assignment was to write about a pet peeve.  She said she didn't have any pet peeves and melted into a puddle of hot tears.  I asked her if her pet peeve might be stupid writing assignments.  She laughed and said, "yes."  She then spent the next few minutes dictating the following words to me:

"I can't stand stupid writing assignments.  I feel frustrated.  It makes me mad.  I don't want to do it and I don't like to write.  I can't think of anything and when I do I can't put it down on paper.  I kind of feel forced.  My brain just stops.  I feel stressed."

Performance anxiety

I've been there too.  Before she wrote the assignment I thought she was just being whiny and rebellious.  I threw up my own brick walls and steeled myself to make her complete the assignment.  But then the Holy Spirit said, "Stop," and led me to reach down into my own heart to see the muck and mire there.  Then He helped me explore what might be in her heart to find the root of the matter.  Isn't it such a great temptation to "make," our children jump through the hoops - to force them to overcome?  We think we're helping them, but what we are really doing is helping ourselves.  We don't want the fuss and the mess of meltdown.  We think, "Just do it," but when we do that we are disregarding the gift that God is giving us - an opportunity to know Jesus better.

I was reminded of several things on this day:

I needed to remember to avoid making assumptions about my child. What appears to be "attitude," may really be something deeper.

I needed to take the plank out of my own eye.  I have more experience, but I have not arrived.  I was having just as much "attitude," as my daughter.  I was frustrated. I wanted the assignment to be done.  The walls flew up, but then Jesus held me accountable.

While it is important that my daughter learns how to write, there is a much more important lesson to learn. Just like me, she needs to learn how to cope with her anxiety, and ultimately, how to rest in God's grace when faced with challenging assignments.

It is always best to follow God's plan, rather than my lesson plan.  I thought I was teaching writing on this day, but the lesson turned out to be about how grace and trust overcomes anxiety and fear.

What the enemy meant for discouragement and friction between my daughter and I, was transformed into an opportunity for us to unite in Jesus.

God is so good!

So grateful for His grace,



For more encouragement on living in the moment and participating in God's plan within your homeschooling, I recommend the following resource:





 

Teaching From Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakeable Peace - A Review

I know I am a bit spoiled.  For years and years, my friend and encourager, was my yearly homeschool portfolio evaluator. Each year, in the month of May, I received a pep talk and a reminder that when God calls, He equips.  My friend, a veteran homeschooler herself, pointed me back to Jesus, time and again.  She was my cheerleader and always had nothing but the best of wisdom to share. I'm grateful.  Sadly, my friend passed away unexpectedly...and I've missed her greatly.  Yet, her encouragement is fresh in my mind and bubbles up within my heart.  I know it will never pass away.

As I've encourage other homeschooling moms, I've prayed for a resource that I might share with others that might also point them back to Jesus. Sometimes we need to marinate in the truth, and a book helps us do that.  So much of the angst that moms face in homeschooling comes about when we try to homeschool in our own power.  There is a better way!  Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakeable Peace by Sarah Mackenzie is exactly the tool I've been hoping to find.  While the author writes from a Classical and Catholic educational background (I am neither),  the principles within this book apply to any homeschooling method, are based upon the grace of Jesus Christ,  and are theologically sound.  Throughout the text there are occasional quotes from Catholic saints and Classical Christian educators.  That aside, this book is of excellent encouragement regardless of your theological background or current educational method.  For me, it was like sitting down for a cup of tea with my dear friend.

 



 

Teaching From Rest is broken down into four sections, each containing four chapters.

I. You Were Made For This

Sarah encourages us to walk in our sacred calling as mothers with acceptance and surrender, whilst seeing our children as God sees them.  Are we struggling through a daily grind?  Or is our daily grind, holy ground? Are moments of tears and tantrums wearisome experiences that we must survive?  Or are they divine appointments in which God has called us to share His love, grace and instruction?

II. He's Got This

Such an awesome unit!  Sarah teaches us to walk in the way that God has made us.  We don't need to teach the way our friends do.  We are not all lapbooking, volcano building, sentence diagramming, super moms and that is okay!  Sarah points us to Jesus in four excellent chapters which will inspire and empower you to walk in faith.

III. Slow the Heck Down

These chapters focus on simplifying, while focusing on the important stuff.  There are four chapters overflowing with all the practical information you need to teach from a place of rest.  So excited to see such wisdom all in one place!

IV. We're All In This Together

This last section is a set of excellent chapters covering the logistical issues of homeschooling.  What can I do with my toddler, while I teach my older children?  What is morning time and how might I use this time in a restful manner? Do I have reasonable expectations of myself and my children?  What does it means to build margin into my day? Is multi-tasking healthy or is it a myth?

 

Favorite quotes:

"Why, come a damp and gloomy day in March, do we yell over a  math lesson or lose our temper over a writing assignment? Why do we see the lessons left to finish and get lost in an anxiety-ridden haze? We forget that we are dealing with a soul, a precious child bearing the image of God, and all we can see is that there are only a few months left to the school year and we are still only halfway through the math book.  When you are performing mommy triage - that is, when you have a crisis moment and have to figure out which fire to put out first- always choose your child. It's just a math lesson. It's only a writing assignment. It's a Latin declension. Nothing more." ~Page 33, Teaching From Rest

 

"You are made in the image and likeness of God, and you have exactly what you need to be the mother that He wants you to be." ~ Page 46, Teaching From Rest

 

"We are weary because we forget about grace. We act as though God showing up is the miracle. But guess what? God showing up is the given. Grace is a fact." ~Page 49, Teaching From Rest

 

"Real learning happens when a child encounters an idea for himself." Page 53, Teaching From Rest

 

"It doesn't really matter how far in the book we get. What matters is what happens in the mind and heart of our student, and for that matter- in ourselves.": ~Page 64, Teaching From Rest

 

"By definition, to be efficient is to achieve maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense. But relationships don't flourish or grow that way. Relationships need time, spent lavishly. Homeschooling is all about relationships, and relationships just aren't efficient. " ~Page 85, Teaching From Rest

 

 Highly Recommended

Not since, Educating the Whole-Hearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson , have I come across such a quality resource.  The message is needed.  Homeschooling moms are burning out and giving up because they have not learned to homeschool in the grace of Jesus.  I loved every page.  I read it twice, and then discussed it with a friend.  I recommend the full kit, which comes with the book, a companion workbook, and several audio recordings.  You will not be disappointed.  If you read anything before you begin teaching in the new school year, let it be this book.

Click here for Teaching From Rest Free Printables!

Also Recommended:

Educating the WholeHearted Child -- Third Edition

 

Grateful for Grace,



 

 

 

Sexual Abuse: How Do We Protect Our Children?

There has been a lot of talk about preventing abuse in the home education community recently.  I'm not sure that much of the advice given has been particularly helpful.  I'm concerned that it could potentially end up harming children. I don't say that lightly.  I have continued to pray as I have read about various scandals involving well known homeschooling leaders, always seeking the Lord for wisdom. I wanted to make sure I was hearing the Lord correctly. So it is in that spirit – one of love and concern for children, that I share my words with you. I fully comprehend the pervasive damage that occurs in the heart of a child when they are sexually abused.  Not only am I a survivor myself, but many of my dearest friends have also been harmed by childhood sexual abuse. One out of every four women is sexually abused.  That statistic has certainly played out in my circle of friends.

So what will help us keep our children safe?  First, let's look at what does not keep them safe.

Things That Do Not Keep Children Safe from Sexual Sinners

1. Sexual Predator Lists do not keep your children safe from abusers. 1 in 4 girls, and 2 in 6 boys are sexually abused. Most perpetrators are relatives or friends of the abused child. Most perpetrators don't go looking to abuse. Rather, they fall into and take advantage of an opportunity. Most sexual offenders are not on a list and are never caught. Many cases cannot be prosecuted for lack of evidence. Does that mean there is no reason to have a list? No. Sexual Predator lists are in place as a deterrent to potential abusers. But these lists are an inefficient and weak means to deter sexual crime. They are often put into place by elected prosecutors and look great in political campaigns! However, these lists do not protect anyone. Do not be deceived.

2. Signs in the front yards of sexual predators do not keep your children safe from abusers. Why? Once again, most sexual offenders never get caught. They are your neighbors, your fathers, your sons, your friends, they are the guy at the post office, the leader in Boy Scouts, and your daughter's best friend's father. If you are human, sexual sin is prevalent. Don't whitewash yourself. You and I, and everyone on the planet is capable of sexual sin. (Romans 3:23 says that all have fallen short of the glory of God.) If you grasp that truth, you are less likely to be an offender. If you let that truth do its work and you set up protective boundaries, you are even less likely to be an offender.

3. Banning offenders from social groups, neighborhoods and community events will not protect your children from sexual abuse. Why? Once again, most offenders are never caught. Banning only the individuals who have been caught gives everyone a false sense of security. It causes folks to lower their defenses, and that is never a good thing.

So what will help keep our children safe from abuse? The good news is that there are measures that you can take to protect your children. The bad news is that there will always be sexual abuse. We live in a fallen world. We cannot legislate sin out of existence, but I know with my whole heart that for whatever evil is perpetrated, God is there to redeem and make new. We are not without hope.

 

Measures That Parents Can Take to Protect Their Children from Sexual Abuse

1. Be educated. Who are offenders? What are their tendencies? Read here. In a nutshell? Offenders look like nice people, both men and women, but they lack boundaries and can have (but not always) a host of other questionable behaviors. They do not look like the boogie man. Generally, they look like great friends. You don't have to be paranoid, but you must be aware and able to set boundaries appropriate to your situation.

2. Walk in the Light. This issue is not about trusting people. In fact, trusting people should never come into play, but rather, reality should be your guide. Read this short, five part guide in protecting your child from sexual abuse: From Darkness to Light: Five Steps to Protecting Our Children. It includes the heartbreaking statistics of childhood sexual abuse. That's reality. Let it soak in.

3. Educate your children. Children need to know what is safe touch and what is not. They need to understand that they have the right to control who comes into their personal space. They must feel absolutely comfortable in telling you anything and they must know that you will believe them first...and that you will investigate later. They have to understand that when someone violates their personal space it is never their fault. They must be educated in an age appropriate manner. Not educating them is not a healthy option.

Kid Power (Instead of Stranger Danger, teach Stranger Safety)

I Said No! A Kid to Kid Guide for Keeping Your Private Parts Private  (Teaches Boundaries)

The Safe Touch Coloring Book

Your Body Belongs to You

There is no perfect curriculum or resource.  The best way to impart the knowledge your child needs to help prevent sexual abuse, is to empower your children with love, unconditional acceptance and open communication.  A healthy relationship will give them confidence and that will make them less of a target.

4. Set boundaries and do not apologize for them. Boundaries require discernment, forethought and hard choices, but the fruit is often safety and peace. That said, there are no guarantees in a fallen world.

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.” ~Titus 2:11-14

Areas in Which to Consider Creating Boundaries:

Sleepovers - Here are interesting thoughts on sleepovers from Tim Challies. James Dobson shares his opinions here.

Being alone with anyone of significant age difference, whether friend, teacher, tutor, or relative.  (Significant age difference is +4 to 5 years or more) This is especially true if the older individual is in a position of authority. It is possible to have healthy one on one time without being entirely alone or private.  For example, if tutoring is necessary, a public library or other populated place is more appropriate than an empty home.  If your child has a mentor, make sure the circumstances are such that there are other people nearby.

Babysitters - Don't hire just any teenager.  Know your babysitter's values.  Use only sitters whose actions and words align and whose lives show strong evidence of healthy boundaries.  It is inconvenient to not be able to go out on a date with your husband.  It is far worse to go out using a babysitter who may hurt a child.  Err on the side of safety.  It is inadvisable to use a sitter who is male.  Statistically speaking, there is a far greater risk of males perpetrating sexual crime.  That said, statistics about offending females are rising.  Be wise.

Online activity -Do you know your child's Facebook password?  Do you know who their friends are?  In our family, we have the passwords for our underage children's Facebook and email accounts.  We reserve the right to inspect all online accounts without notice.  We do this in a spirit of love and protection.  It gives our children a sense of accountability and they understand it is for their protection.  We also use a quality internet filter with excellent parental controls.  Once again, education is paramount.

5. Accountability – When you set a boundary it must be upheld. No exceptions. If you are led to avoid sleepovers, then set the rule and enforce it in love. The only thing your child will miss out on is the potential of sexual abuse. If you don't allow your child to sleep over, then don't throw a sleep over party at your house. What is good for the goose, is good for the gander. Be consistent. Don't let anyone lull you into false sense of security. Create boundaries and enforce them. Don't back down.

Remember, this is not about trust. We are not here to trust other people. We are here to trust the Lord Jesus Christ. We are here to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind and soul. We are here to love others as we love ourselves. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We can love others and protect our children. Creating and upholding boundaries is a loving act. It provides protection to both the potential victim and the potential abuser.

 

What About the Church?

 

The Abel Harlow Child Molestation Prevention Study found that 93% of sexual offenders identified themselves as religious. In the book, “Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders,” by Dr. Anna Salter, a sexual offender is quoted as saying,

“I considered church people easy to fool…they have a trust that comes from being Christians. They tend to be better folks all around and seem to want to believe in the good that exists in people.”

Unrepentant sexual offenders are expert liars and manipulators. They are deeply deceived. Studies show that most parents are unable to tell when an adult is lying to them.  Protecting our children has nothing to do with trusting others. It is certainly not about believing that good exists in people. It is about seeing people as they really are – as sinners. When we walk in the light of Christ, we can see the truth and are in a better position to protect our children.

Finally, please read and consider Sex Offenders in the Pew at Christianity Today. This article talks about how sexual offenders have become like the leper of Biblical times, offers information on recidivism, treatment plans, and provides models of how some churches are living the gospel as they walk in both grace and accountability in handling sexual sin within their membership. 

There is no need to fear. We simply need to keep our eyes open and our hearts focused on Jesus, as we actively follow Him.

Grateful for grace,

 

 

 

 

Homeschooling: Creating a Routine Without Becoming a Slave to Your Schedule

Some homeschooling families thrive with spontaneity and carefree meanderings down interest led rabbit trails.  Other families require a bit more structure and scheduling.  One is not better than the other.  They are simply different.  I recently met a sweet family who enjoys unstructured rabbit trails and interest driven learning so much, that they prefer to unschool.  They learn so much in this way!  I marvel at the inward structure God has given this family. They love unschooling and it is a wonder to see!  They are not sitting around doing nothing all day.  They are busy and actively working toward their goals.

But, you know what? My family cannot learn like that.  We need a lot more structure to be successful in our homeschooling, and that's okay. God created my new friend to raise up the children the Lord gave her.  Likewise, God created me to raise up the children He gave me.  We can appreciate our differences, value each other as individuals and support each other as we walk out our homeschooling journeys.

A long time ago, the Lord led me to create structure in our home.  The first thing I tried was Manager's of Their Homes by Teri Maxwell.  I learned so much and it definitely put an end to the chaos that was happening when I had three little boys to educate. It is such a comprehensive resource.  (I recommend it!)  Yet, in practice, I came to understand that God was not leading me to, "schedule," as much as He was leading me to build a framework or skeleton routine for learning and living. He led me to build a little cushion time so that we  never feel behind.  We simply go from one subject or activity to the next until we are done.  It is much more relaxed this way, and because we don't have a pressing schedule to follow, we can enjoy the occasional rabbit trail or discussion without having to worry.

Do you need structure in your homeschooling? Are you consistently missing one subject or another in your homeschool program?  Do you feel stressed in trying to keep your children on task? Are the chores and clutter piling up?  If so, a routine may be a help to you.

How does one create a routine or framework for homeschooling?  This is my, "in a nutshell," answer.

1.  Determine your priorities.  What subjects do you most need to cover?  What needs to happen during your day? Brainstorm about what time of day each subject, activity or event might be best completed.  For instance, my children dread math, so we choose to complete it earlier in the day to get it out of the way.  No procrastination.  We tend to plow through core subjects and keep the electives or fun things like music and art for the last part of the day.  Choose what is best for you.

Do you want to incorporate a period or two of clean up time?  (I recommend this because it keeps things tidy and relaxed.)

What about fun subjects like art, music,  dance and crafting?  (Include whatever is important to for your family!)

Consider creating time for:

family devotions

personal quiet time

meals

times of rest

times to play

Pray over these priorities and ask God if there are any others that He would like you to incorporate into your day.  Consider searching the Word for wisdom in prioritizing.  Before you move on to step two, write all of your priorities down on paper.

2.  Consider each of your children's learning needs.  Can you teach any of them together?  Do you need one on one time with any of them?  What could the other children do while you are one on one with that child?  In our family, when I had to work one on one with a child, I would assign a subject that other children could handle on their own, or I would provide a short time of reading, computer games, crafting or other healthy play.  If I had a toddler or preschooler, I would keep a box of toys and crafts that they could play with only during the time that I needed to spend with an older child.

Brainstorm ways your children can use their time while you are with another child one on one.  Write these ideas down and save this for the step four.

If you are particularly weary from juggling younger and older children's needs at the same time, please read this article.  It will help.

3.  Print this form.  It's free, from me!  You will use it to build your framework. It is a blank "Our Routine," form.

4.  Based on your priorities, determine an order to follow.  If  you need to spend time with Tommy doing math, then in the Mom column write Math with Tommy at the time you want to do it.  Then in Tommy's column, write "Math with Mom."  If you have other children, decide what they can do while you are with Tommy. Continue on, prayerfully filling in your day.  Don't over schedule.  Build grace into your homeschooling day.  Don't become slave to the schedule.  Times are not as important as the general order.

[caption id="attachment_1732" align="aligncenter" width="600"] This is a copy of our framework from 1999.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1735" align="aligncenter" width="600"] This is the skeleton I am currently in the midst of tweaking. Sam is in 11th grade and Grace is in 6th grade.[/caption]

5.  Be willing to tweak as necessary.  It may be necessary to add forgotten elements or delete unnecessary ones.  Use this framework as a tool.  Don't allow it to become your slave master!

If you need more help and encouragement, check out Manager's of Their Homes.  It is an excellent resource.  Just remember to build a lot of grace into your day!

Blessings,



 

 

Teach Me Tuesday: Dictation 101

Dictation is a great way to teach any student who has mastered the basics of copywork.  If your child has generally mastered the beginning concepts of punctuation, grammar, and spelling then he/she is ready for dictation.  Copywork helps students to see and experience well written sentences.  Copywork activates the visual, auditory and kinesthetic learning centers of the brain and helps with memorizing the general rules of language.  Once a child shows proficiency with copywork, it is time for dictation.  I, personally do not attempt dictation until my students are in the fourth grade.  I'm sure there are students who may be ready earlier and some that may need more time with copywork.  Moms, you know your child best.  If dictation causes tears and frustration, back up to copywork for a few more weeks or months, then try again.

Dictation is a tool which requires a student to operate their listening skills, while accessing their memory to find and then retrieve necessary information so that it can be applied to a  passage of quality literature.   A child who is practicing dictation is hard at work!  This is not an easy skill, but the benefits are tremendous.  When a child practices dictation, he is training his brain to remember and organize the rules of language arts so that he can access them later.   Essentially, he is building his own filing cabinet of language arts learning.  During a dictation exercise the student processes what he hears, accesses his filing cabinet, finds the needed rules and then applies that information to the passage being dictated.  Then the student writes it all down.

It is very important to understand that dictation is an advanced skill.  It takes regular practice to master it. If this is your first time to try dictation, I recommend choosing a short passage of no more than a sentence or two.  Be patient and compassionate with your student while following the steps below.

**Don't give your child a pencil until you are finished with #2.

The Steps of Dictation

1. Let your child read the passage you will be dictating. First, have them read it aloud. Ask them to point out any words they may not know how to spell. Study those words for a few moments. Then ask them to pay special attention to the punctuation in the passage. Then have them read it one more time, this time silently.

2. Ask your child to close their eyes and listen to you read it aloud this time.

3. Tell your child to pick up his/her pencil and write while you slowly dictate the passage.

4. Give your child a copy of the passage and have them compare their work with the original. I guide my children through this process. We look at each word, one by one, checking for spelling. Then we look at their passage to examine it for punctuation and grammar.

5. If there are misspelled words, we circle them and immediately correct their spelling beneath the passage and we add the misspelled word to our spelling list that week.

6. For punctuation errors, we review the punctuation rule broken and then the child corrects it.  I do not have them rewrite the passage.  Rather, I have them use common editing marks.   We use this chart which shows all editing marks.   On the following day, I have them rewrite the passage from their corrected copy.We do dictation two to three times a week in this manner.

Charlotte Mason purists will often say that a teacher should only read the passage one time before the child writes. They reason that this forces the child to listen. I have two children with learning disabilities and this never worked for us. In fact, it caused much frustration. So rather than push my children into exasperation, I chose to give grace and came up with the above method. My children did extremely well with this method – and both of my graduates are excellent listeners and proficient writers.

Grateful for grace,



 

If you would like to learn more about teaching language arts in this manner, I recommend the following resources:

The Three R's by Ruth Beechick

You Can Teach Your Child Successfully: Grades 4-8 by Ruth Beechick

Language Arts the Easy Way by Cindy Rushton.

 

Not Perfect - Just Ordinary uses affiliate links in posts.  By clicking on these links a portion of the sale is paid to me.  This doesn't cost you anything extra.  The commission I earn simply goes to pay for the maintenance of this website,  supports my calling to encourage homeschooling moms, and with hope and prayer, will allow me to continue being a counselor, encourager and keeper of my home.  Thank you for your kind support.  God bless you!

Encouraging the Love of Literature

 



When I hear the term "Literature Analysis," I develop cold sweats. My mind is yanked back into the 11th grade and flashes back on eight page literary analysis essays, along with difficult and cryptic names for what should have been very simple. My compositions were forced and unnatural and my enthusiasm for reading all but dried up. Blech...no wonder I didn't pick up a quality piece of literature for years afterward!

It wasn't until I began homeschooling my children about seventeen years ago, that I began to learn to enjoy literature again. Following Charlotte Mason's wisdom to use living literature in our studies helped us to delight in the literature for the sake of the story. Reading each selection aloud, the children and I learned how to discover something fun from whatever we read. After that, we dove into a couple of years of Sonlight where we learned all about both World and American History and followed fascinating rabbit trails of exploration. With all of that reading, we never formally analyzed anything, yet our love and appreciation of literature grew by leaps and bounds.

During those years, we discovered that each book has a buried treasure, a hidden message to uncover. Most books are written by an individual and contain a distinct perspective. In each piece of literature the writer has a message to share or a lesson to teach. In a well written book it becomes the reader's pleasure to experience that lesson through the pages of a story, discerning the message and evaluating it for possible application. Sadly, many teachers insist on turning this experience into a dreadful exercise!

In our home, we keep literature studies simple...and apparently it's a successful endeavor. My children love literature and even more than that, we enjoy discussing it together.

Now before I tell you what we have done in our homeschooling, let me encourage you with a precious nugget of wisdom that I picked up from Ruth Beechick. If a child is curled up with a book, quietly reading to their heart's content, they are comprehending. If they look up at you to share something that is exciting, they are comprehending. If they giggle, or if a tear rolls down their cheek, they are comprehending. It is unnecessary to have them answer twenty questions about a book's content or to produce a book report for every book they read. We home school moms tend to worry too much! Early on, I chose to keep book reports and prefabricated comprehension questions at a bare minimum.

So how do I cover reading and literature in my home? Push the Easy Button here!

We have a daily quiet hour. This is a time in which the children go off to read a book of their choice. This is not assigned reading...but a quiet period, where they can enjoy whatever they have chosen to read for entertainment, edification...or whatever. Right now, my children are reading a variety of literature that run the gamut from "Encyclopedia Brown," by Donald Sobol to "The Giver," by Lois Lowry and for my oldest, "The Way of the Wild Heart," by John Eldredge. The importance of having the quiet hour is simply to foster a love of reading and self directed learning.

We read aloud every day. There is something special that happens when a parent puts on a character's voice. Children strain to hear every word, they sit forward in their seats and are often eager to discuss the material. There are so many great books that edify children with life lessons about a myriad of topics. From picture books to novels, there are wonderful examples of literature at every level of learning.

Unfortunately, some families give up on reading aloud because they have wiggly children. Please let me encourage you to work through the wiggles. The trick is in training younger children to listen and be still. I've done three things that have helped my children grow to love reading aloud.

1. When training young children for read alouds choose books that support their interests. If your child is all about surviving in the wilderness, then choose a book like "My Side of the Mountain," by Jean Craighead George or an adapted version of Swiss Family Robinson. Don't bore them with a book that will only make their minds wander. Remember, this is training...try to make it pleasant.

2. Allow young children to build with Legos or Lincoln Logs, draw pictures, or color while you read aloud to them.

3. Alternatively, read aloud to them at bedtime. They'll enjoy the snuggles and have something to dream about when the light goes out. As a plus, when they're in bed, they can't wiggle too far.If the wiggles persist, consider reading another season of picture books to allow a child a bit more time to develop listening skills. Don't give up, but be willing to find what works.

We learn vocabulary as we come across it. If we run into a word that we don't understand, we try to figure out the definition by it's context. If not, we look it up and say the sentence again, using the definition instead of the word being defined. I then read the sentence once more, this time using the word in question. I might write it down on an index card, but it's not often necessary. I've discovered that the word is usually assimilated and will pop up in my children's spoken and written vocabulary about six months later. (I don't know why this is true, but this has been our experience.)

We discuss literature on the fly. As we read a book we discuss it informally. We talk about whatever pops into our minds as we read. From imagery to characters, to the problems they face, or the obstacles they overcome, we talk about it all. I remember one conversation back when my oldest child was in the fifth grade. We came to a scene in the Lord of the Rings series where Mr. Frodo tells Smeagol that he should not call himself names. We talked about the wisdom of relying on God's truth about ourselves, that we are sinners...and yet precious to God. It was an opportunity to remember Jesus and how His estimation of us is that we are worth His life. Amazing. We made a memory and each of us remembers that conversation as a gift.

I use our read aloud time as a means to encourage my children to think. If a child can think, they can discuss...and eventually they will be able to defend their ideas and write about them in detail. (Usually in high school.) I use Bloom's Taxonomy as a very rough guide, a basis in which I lead my children in our discussions of literature. Bloom's assists me in evaluating where my children are regarding their thinking on any particular topic, literature or otherwise. It gives me a quick visual on where they each may be and assists me in stretching them to the next step in their thinking abilities.

I strive to give my children lots of experiences, talking about everything, asking many questions about opinions and thoughts. I really like to dig in, always looking for the heart. "How does that make you feel?" "What would you do differently?" "How does this information alter your opinion?" I guide my children through these discussions, keeping my feelers out for where they're at on the Bloom's chart with the goal of stretching them just a bit further.

By the time my oldest two children reached high school, they had developed adequate thinking skills to enable them to write. They needed a bit of encouragement in getting organized, but I discovered that if the thoughts were in their noggins, then the words eventually came spilling out onto paper.

Use movie versions of classics! I don't want to make this a blanket statement, because sometimes the movie versions of literature are awful. But there are quality motion pictures which might spark an interest in reading a great work of literature. "Emma," comes to mind, along with "Hamlet," or the BBC versions of Jane Austin classics. I'm also reminded of "Heidi," my favorite being the Shirley Temple classic. Use your discernment, of course, but I've found this an equally valid way to develop my children's thinking skills as well as create interest in a title that otherwise might be overlooked.

Furthermore, if you have a teen who just cannot make himself pick up a Jane Austin novel, then consider having him watch the movie, and discuss it along with him.

Cliff Notes or Spark Notes - Lastly, and used sparingly, I allow my children to use Cliff or Spark Notes. I do this only in the case of assigned reading as a substitute for a book that I feel won't work for us. This fall, in our chosen curriculum, one of the books assigned was Uncle Tom's Cabin. I pre-read it and I decided that one of my students would find it too heavy to dwell on. So, at the encouragement of my personal mentor, I will have them read the Cliff Notes and we will discuss the social points important to understanding the historical significance of the book. This will help them appreciate this work of literature without having to experience something that is too heavy for them to bear at this time in their life.

So, as you see, we keep literature analysis very simple. We may discuss literature elements like foreshadowing or denouement from time to time, but mainly our discussions center around the heart in the form of building thinking skills, learning life lessons, and enjoying the love of finely crafted words...literature.

Grateful for grace,



©2008 Y.M.F.

 

Updated Post from 2008

Supporting Our Kids When They Hate Math

This year we have had a tough time with math. My daughter dislikes it so much that at the mention of math, a grimace appears on her face and a stone tower erupts from the floor barricading her from any possible mathematical threat. Of course, there is no actual tower – no, the stone tower appears just by the look on her face and the stiffness of her countenance. Have you all seen such a look? When that stone tower appeared this year, I felt defeated and most of the time, we hadn't even begun the lesson for the day! I'm sure my daughter felt the same way.

So what's a mom to do? We can't give our children permission never to do a math lesson again, right?

If we were a perfect family, I could have pulled out a giant box of math manipulatives and games and my daughter would have gleefully exclaimed her appreciation and glad participation. A few days of this would reset any bad attitudes and refresh us for new learning, right? Sounds like a great blog post! The truth is, however, we are not a perfect family and I wasn't sure that games were going to get us over this rough spot.

So, I did what most moms would do.

I prayed for wisdom.

I required participation and looked for the reason behind her math angst.

I adjusted the amount of problems that she needed to do – eliminating those that were mastered.

We spent time reviewing a foundational area that was not mastered and was causing frustration.

I re-evaluated our curriculum and researched alternatives with different review styles.

I did not let my daughter give up, but neither did I allow her think she had no choices or options.

I encouraged her to trust God, to be obedient, and to learn His grace in her difficulty.

More than anything, I made sure my daughter knew that I was there to help and support her. There are certain things that must be done. Math is one of them. Yet, I didn't want this to be a power struggle. I needed to reach her heart, so I worked hard to let grace reign in my words and actions.

Our math struggles have not ended, but the stone tower has not erupted out of the floor as often. I think my daughter just needed to know that what she thinks and feels matters to me, that she is not alone and without help. That's what we all need, right?

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” ~Isaiah 41:10-13

 

So grateful,

Homeschooling: Counting the Cost

[caption id="attachment_1567" align="alignnone" width="300"] Dissecting an Owl Pellet in 2003[/caption]

Standing in line at a used book sale, I overheard one mom telling another, "Anyone can home school. It's easy." I silently wondered how long she had been home schooling, because after seventeen years of educating my children at home, "easy," is not the adjective I would use. Yet, I remember those early years when I experienced many over-reactions to our new homeschooling lifestyle. I had just turned thirty when I chose to leave my job to home school my six and four year old sons as well as care for my newborn son. Friends, neighbors and family weren't very supportive. In response to their questioning, I found myself wearily defaulting to, "It's not that hard," or "It's not as hard as you think." To do over, I think I would approach the skeptics in my life a little bit differently. After all, my job as a home educator is not only challenging and deeply rewarding, but it is my calling. It is a God given privilege and a responsibility which has required sacrifice and trust in Christ.

When I talk to folks interested in homeschooling nowadays, I try to help them understand my responsibilities. If parents express a desire to home school their children, I encourage them to count the cost. Just as Jesus encouraged His apostles and disciples to count the cost of following Him, I think it is pertinent to give home schooling the same consideration. (See Luke 14:25-35) Likewise, if you feel called to educate your child in the public school system, counting the cost would be equally important.

Say I want to go on an extended road trip across America. I wouldn't just hop in the car one day and hope for the best, would I? No, I would consider my destination goals, gather necessary resources, determine possible obstacles, and I would make myself prepared. This way I would likely have a better experience. I would know, in advance, what is needed for the journey and I wouldn't be as surprised by any bumps in the road.

[caption id="attachment_1566" align="alignnone" width="300"] My children in 2005[/caption]

Let's look at the idea of educating our children at home like a road trip. Home schooling is a serious endeavor. It is not just about reading, writing and arithmetic. To the three R's, we need to add relationships, responsibilities, and right thinking. Educating a child encompasses more than academics. It is a big job and there are no guarantees. (There are no guarantees to public or private school education either!)

So what are the costs involved with home schooling children?

Commitment - Homeschooling is not something that you fit into your life. Homeschooling is a way of living. It requires priorities, patience and perseverance. Along with beautiful days of happy children and fun memories, there will be hard days – filled with grumpy faces, tears of frustration and pint sized attitudes that beg adjusting. There will be days that mommy's attitude needs adjusting! (Been there, wear the t-shirt!) Moms and Dads, these are the days that we need to stand in faith. When God calls us, He equips us. Instead of running to the nearest public or private school, we need to run to God and obey. When faced with difficulties, we can reach out to older and wiser mentors, research possible solutions, and then prayerfully seek God for His will. Will we trust God to provide and persevere through the hard times? Will we seek Him, instead of relying on our own common sense or on the wisdom of the world's educational system?

Sacrifice - Homeschooling often requires one parent to be at home full time. A single income lifestyle has a way of helping families prioritize. We learn the difference between, "need," and "want." Our choices, by necessity, reflect our commitment to home education. If God calls us to homeschooling, we must be willing to follow Him, whatever that means in our particular circumstances. Will we be content to accept the sacrifices that homeschooling demands? (Giving up a second car? Stay-cations, instead of vacations? Being with children 24/7? Downsizing to a smaller, more affordable home? Becoming debt-free?) Homeschooling certainly has many wonderful benefits and blessings, but are we willing to receive whatever restrictions we may encounter as a result of our chosen lifestyle?

Obedience - Christian homeschooling is a ministry to our children. It is a commitment for our children's spiritual well being and a lifestyle that encourages deepening family relationships, while giving parents the freedom to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (See Ephesians 6:4) Homeschooling our children gives us many opportunities every day to learn to actively love, respect, and forgive more like Jesus. Homeschooling is not just another way to educate our children. It is a calling. Will we heed that call? Will we lay down our lives for the good of our children?

There isn't a package that we can buy that will give us immediate homeschooling success. There will be detours, road construction, and a lot of rabbit trails. We will never be fully prepared to home school our children at the beginning of the journey, but if we are committed to following God and are willing to make the needed sacrifices, we can walk in confidence . God is faithful.

“Faithful is He who calls you, and He will bring it to pass.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:24

Be brave dear moms!

Grateful for Grace,

Homeschooling: Ordinary is okay!

 

For many years now I have watched countless homeschooling mothers stress over their children's future. For a time, I was definitely right there with them, but as I walked through the process of graduating my oldest two children from our homeschool program, and launching them into the world,  the Lord opened my eyes to the root of the stress.  For me, a lot of the stress came from fear.

Fear of not qualifying for scholarship money - Will he score high enough?

Fear of time running out to become prepared - Will we have enough time?

Fear of not getting into a good college - Will there be enough room?

Fear of the inability to overcome a learning disorder - Will he be passed over?

Blog posts, homeschooling forums, and article after article about the path to success heightened my fear.  The message was always the same:  Every child needs rigor, advanced classes and high SAT or ACT scores.  Yet, what happens if the student is unable to handle the pressure or workload of advanced classes, or if their SAT scores are only marginal - even after taking the test multiple times?  What if The Well Trained Mind produces a well developed ulcer?

Sadly, the world has trained moms well.  We begin to worry that our children face a life of labor, toil and never-ending hardship.  Fear pushes us into overdrive - we enroll our kids in remediation, cancel all their extra-curricular fun, pour on supplemental curriculum and life becomes all about performance.  We think the answer to average is to work harder, and harder....because our children can not...must not...be ordinary.  We believe that they must be exceptional in order to compete with the world.  We see this as the only path to success.  We've poured our hearts and souls into their education with the assumption that the only acceptable fruit is academic excellence.  All because the world has defined success by a single indicator - a college degree.

Last year I picked up a book called, One Tough Mother by Julie Barnhill.  Even though I was well beyond the toddler and elementary years, God used this book to show me just how early the fear begins to do its work in moms and dads.

"When did this inane aversion to anything less than stellar! And phenomenal! And distinctive! (heaven help us if our child doesn't stand out by age three weeks) overtake sensibility and put us on the Wacko Mommy Track of Overachievement and online shopping mall purchases of a Baby Einstein Mozart accompaniment - playing teething ring?"  - Julie Barnhill, One Tough Mother

Phenomenal? Distinctive?  Stellar? Sighs... How about normal, ordinary and decent?  I think homeschooling parents are particularly affected because we are entirely responsible for the breadth and depth of our child's entire educational experience.  We tend to over-analyze every minute detail of parenting.  We put so much heart effort into our children that we think those efforts will guarantee certain outcomes.  But are these expectations reasonable?  

Ponder these truths:

1.  Homeschooling does not produce perfect people. Homeschooled kids are just as apt as anyone else to sin.  They can be enticed and tempted.  They are not immune to making wrong choices. Instead of assuming that our children are safe from the wiles of the world, we should assume that our children are a part of the world.  They are sinners. When we see them accurately, as sinners, (though saved by grace when they believe), we walk in the light of Jesus and can actively live out the gospel.  Our hearts can be filled with hope in Christ, rather than hope in our children.

2. Homeschooled students don't always make high scores on standardized tests.  (They do score higher than their public school counterparts, but not every homeschooled student takes the SAT or ACT.) And here is the truth - it is okay. Standardized testing does not determine our student's future.  God does.  We must be careful to avoid defining our children by their ability to test well (or not).

3.  Not all homeschoolers are advanced.  Some students are average and others have learning disabilities.  Guess what?  That's okay!  Our students don't have to fit the same mold.  God created them and will equip them for life.  We don't have to force our kids to excel to an arbitrary standard.  Instead, we must join the Lord where He is already at work.  Let's focus on Jesus as we educate our children - stretching them from where they are to the next step for their individual progress.

4.  Along those same lines, not all homeschoolers are college bound. Don't assume that college is the best choice. We need to talk to our students about the direction the Lord is leading them.  We absolutely should encourage education, but we cannot assume that college is the only way.  Your children may have different, but reasonable plans for themselves.  As our teens grow towards adulthood, they must learn to rely on us less and follow Jesus more.

5.  Our children are allowed their own mistakes.  Every mistake, trial or hardship is an opportunity to know God more intimately.  Our children need these experiences, and in fact, these life experiences are often the catalyst for sanctification and a deepening relationship with Jesus. God uses everything to His glory for those who love Him.

A child's ordinary journey is often God's exceptional plan in disguise. While I would love my children to have lives that afforded them bountiful income and ease, I also know that God creates ordinary mechanics, cosmetologists, and water treatment plant operators too. He calls people willing to share the love of Jesus in all walks of life.  I am certain that He is well pleased with honest, hard working people in construction crews as well as those in boardrooms and surgical suites. The ordinary life is just as valid and valuable.

I took a lot of encouragement from David McCullough's commencement speech to the class of Wellesley High School in 2012.  In it he says:

"Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.  Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion—and those who will follow them. And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special." ~ David McCullough in his commencement speech to the Wellesley High School class of 2012.

Moms, let's home educate our children not with the goal of getting them into college, but rather, let's embrace the challenge of growing children into intellectual, compassionate, loving people who will bless the world with kindness and care.  Let's learn with our children, encouraging each other to be more like Christ everyday.  Let's not give in to fear.  If we focus on Christ, and prayerfully encourage our children to walk in the way that He made them, if we teach our children to be like Jesus - then their future will be secure.

For further reading check out Redefining Success and Celebrating the Ordinary at the New York Times.

Grace and peace,

Socialization Is Not A Myth - It's the Fruit of Active Parenting

 

The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online defines the word socialize, "to make social; especially : to fit or train for society or a social environment. Children are socialized according to a given cultural pattern—H. A. Murray & C. K. Kluckhohn

(Let's hope the cultural pattern is worthy of imitating!)

Webster's 1828 Dictionary has no definition for the word socialize.  There are definitions for sociable, sociability, social, but apparently in 1828 people were not, "socializing," their children.  Perhaps they were too busy training them?

Field trip/Florida Pioneer Museum

TRA'INING, noun The act or process of drawing or educating; education. In gardening, the operation or art of forming young trees to a wall or espalier, or of causing them to grow in a shape suitable for that end. ~ Websters, 1828

Or, maybe parents had not forgotten what parenthood meant?

PA'RENT, noun
1. A father or mother; he or she that produces young. The duties of parents to their children are to maintain, protect and educate them. ~ Webster's, 1828

The American culture in 1828 had not yet turned their responsibility to educate and train children over to the government.  Parents understood that it was their God-given responsibility to raise their own children.  Parental authority had not yet been given away to a governing body. The buck stopped with Ma and Pa.

Field trip/American Victory

In 2014, that is no longer the case.  The public school system often decides when a child is educated about sex.  Homosexuality is taught as a morally neutral issue in the classroom.  In many instances, the accurate history of Judeo-Christian ethics our country was founded upon is no longer taught.  Finally, you can read how Jesus is not allowed in the classroom here and here.  The system has decided what is best for our children.  They want to socialize children in the way they think is best.  But wait, isn't that a parent's job?

Matt Walsh, a conservative blogger, recently responded to a letter he received from a public school official.  This educator asserted that homeschooling parents were hurting the system by not placing our students within it.  Furthermore, he stated, "Public school gives young people the chance to become well adjusted adults."  Wow, sounds like the public school system is quite a savior!  Perhaps, a god of sorts?

 

Field trip/Honeymoon Island/Loggerhead Turtles

In all likelihood, this educator doesn't realize he has bowed down to a false god.  Idols are like that - sneaky and subtle.  But on the other hand, I don't think that homeschoolers have helped their public school counterparts see the truth by declaring that socialization is nothing more than a myth.

I think many home educators feel it is a myth because they are actively parenting their children, and the fruit of that active work is often well socialized children.

As I look back on seventeen years of homeschooling, I don't think I fully recognized the work I was accomplishing in my children's lives as I stopped to correct them on the playground, or when I encouraged them to create boundaries for themselves.  Why would I?  I was busy loving my family, growing them up, hopefully to the glory of Christ.  I didn't fully comprehend that what I was really doing was socializing my children to be healthy and productive citizens.

Field trip/Kayaking/Crystal Springs

To me, socialization entails educating my children to live in community as responsible, competent, and compassionate citizens.  Seems easy enough, right?  It's not.

Let's think about all the tiny parts that make up the whole child, then we will break it down and spell it out.  Every student needs a social education.  There are students who are extroverted and need to be taught how to temper their outgoing nature in a manner that is sensitive to the disposition of others.  On the other end of the spectrum are introverted students who must learn how to reach out to others, yet also care for their own neurological sensitivities.  Both types of students (and everyone in between) can successfully thrive in the homeschool setting.  In fact, it is my experience that the home school environment is a superior setting in which to socialize our children.

Tae Kwon Do/Sam - six years old

The home education lifestyle provides children ample opportunity to experience a variety of people in diverse social settings.  Children are not artificially placed into same age classrooms, but are encouraged to interact with students both younger and older than themselves, as well as many adults - all while being supervised by a parent.  Whenever a need for social correction arises, a parent can encourage and correct their children on the spot.  The mentoring relationship parents develop with their children goes much farther than it would if their children were away from them six to eight hours a day.

In my own family, socializing my children is done within our day to day relationship and is tailored to each individual child.  That is an impossible task for the public school system, but it is a built in benefit for parents who spend purposeful time with their children!

So what does it take to be well functioning individual in today's culture?  Consider the following values and skills:

To value their own bodies as God values them
To value others as God does and to honor every person as God's beloved child
To lay down their lives for others
To discern need versus want
To learn self confidence based on God's evaluation of our condition
To set and uphold personal boundaries
To discern motivation and evaluate our behavior and that of others
To discern right from wrong - morality vs. immorality
To make wise choices
To use words to build up and not tear down
To care for those weaker than themselves
To participate in civic responsibilities
To esteem the elderly as wise
To let their actions speak respect
To esteem and protect the young as precious
To actively participate in community
To show interest in others
To hold and carry a discussion
To play fair
To communicate clearly and politely
To fight fair
To stand up for themselves
To give generously
To be financially responsible
To serve cheerfully and sacrificially
To know how to grieve loss and hurt, in an emotionally healthy way
To steward our world's resources
To steward our responsibilities
To work hard
To avoid peer dependence
To be supportive and thoughtful
To create margins in life which promote health and happiness

The list could go on.  You get the idea. This is socialization - the process of helping a young person become a well balanced individual who is actively loving others while living life. It is the day to day experience of parents walking hand in hand with children as they model right behavior and live out the gospel of Jesus.  Thanks be to Christ who has enabled me to successfully socialize my children at home since 1998.

Grateful for Grace,



 

 

For further reading:

Michael Smith of the Home School Legal Defense Association wrote this over at the Washington Times.

National Home Education Research Institute completed a formal study of the outcome of home educated students in 2010.

Encouragement for New Homeschoolers: A Framework

Sometimes new home educators become overwhelmed by life.  Not only are they responsible for raising up morally sound, Biblically literate children, but they must also educate them in reading, writing, arithmetic, history, geography, science and more.

Homeschooling our children is a daunting task - a big responsibility.

Sometimes when we are slammed with life, it's easy to put something on the back burner, and that's okay to do from time to time!  It becomes a bigger issue when we've put something on that back burner for so long that the pot dries out and the contents are spoiled.  We end up frantically cooling a smoking pot and wondering, "How did I forget that?" - all while we deal with the charred consequences of our accidental carelessness.

I don't know a single homeschool mom who neglects to fulfill her responsibility to educate her children on purpose.  But I do see busy, distracted moms who need to know how to organize themselves so that they have the time and energy to care for and education their young ones.

Moms, I've been there - especially back in the day when I was a new homeschooling parent.  I had visions of tidy, well behaved children sitting at the kitchen table completing their assignments while the baby napped.  Of course, the chores were caught up because everyone pitched in without being asked and at the end of the day, my husband would stride through the door to proclaim me the best wife ever because dinner was on the table.  Nice vision, huh?  Well, it was far from my reality at the time.  Trust me.  It wasn't pretty.  We got the basics done, but it was stressful to say the least.

It took me a little while to learn how to manage my home in such a way that all the pots were being stirred and attended consistently in a way that was healthy and productive.

If I were to encourage young moms today, here is what I'd suggest:

Pray for wisdom - Too many of us fail in our attempts to get it all done everyday because we're using the wrong power source.  Don't rely on yourself.  Rely on God.  Seek His wisdom.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Be in the Word daily and be willing to submit to God's call in your home.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Identify your priorities

 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  Romans 12:2

What has God led you to believe is most important in your homeschooling?  Priorities to consider:

Marriage

Character issues in your children and and yourself

School subjects (Bible, math, english, science, history, typing, career exploration, etc...)

Chores (Enlist children to help you.  They must learn responsibility.)

Ministry

Me Time - Me time is not a myth!  Moms need time to rejuvenate. Take time to do the things that you enjoy.  When I had a newborn, taking a nap in the afternoon gave me the energy to keep going.  When I had fussy toddlers or intense teens, a little quiet time doing something I loved, helped me be a more patient and well balanced person.

Identify your time wasters 

This is anything that is done in place of your true priorities.  Don't let (fill in the blank) take over your day.

Put off the lies and put on the truth.

 Check out this complete list of lies versus the truth at Blue Letter Bible.

Create a framework  for the day that supports your priorities.

This is my framework.  Yours will be different - but this will give you an idea of what we do right now.  When I had four children to juggle, I had to be a bit more precise and I didn't have as much time for projects and writing.  Create a framework that works for you!

 

Determine to follow your framework 

When it comes down to it, we all have a choice to make.  We can let our day push us around, or we can actively manage our lives.  Grow in determination.  I also encourage you to be flexible.  Tweak your plan as you see fit, but make sure the tweaks support your priorities.


You can do this, mom!  I am praying for you.

If you feel like you need a bit of hand holding as you walk through this process, I suggest  Manager of Their Homes by Teri Maxwell.

Grateful for Grace,

Relationship Homeschooling

Hey Brave Moms,

Check out The Basic Tenets of Relationship Homeschooling.  Spot On.

Homeschooling is about learning to love Jesus and one another, as we live in and care for His creation.

Simple.  No need for lots of money, complicated curriculum, or strict methodology.

So grateful,

One Size Does Not Fit All

Curriculum is a wonderful gift and many of us love one program or another in such a way that it seems that it should work for everyone.

But that just isn't the case.

It's been good for me to remind myself that it's important for me to follow the Lord and use curriculum as a tool. What works for me, may be the very worst thing for the family down the road. When I evaluate curriculum (my tools) I look at the job that needs to be done. I consider:

1. What needs to be taught?

2. What learning style does my child need to be taught primarily in? Can this tool help strengthen weaknesses too? How much tweeking will be required?

3. What teaching style does it cater to? Can I mix it up? Is it flexible?

5. How much time does it take to teach? Is it flexible? How much time does it take to plan? Is the planning no nonsense or does it involve lots of parental homework?

6. What does it cost? Are there hidden costs (needed books or materials) or requirements?

7. Will it help me get the job done in a no-nonsense manner? Or will it add to my burden?

8. What do my children think of it? Does it give them room to explore rabbit trails or other interests?


Blessings,

©2008 Y.M.F.