I'm sick of.................. (From my heart)

I really dislike that phrase. The bitterness stings my soul.

I heard that phrase in my home today and my heart is sad. But it has provoked me to write down some thoughts that I've had recently and I hope they bless anyone who reads them.

I, myself, have struggled with my share of bitterness over the years. So many really challenging things have happened to me and I have had thoughts of, "I'm so sick of this......." I dare say, that I too, have said the phrase outloud many times. I've actually said the phrase aloud and wanted to run away from a situation I was in the midst of handling.

But what I've learned (and am still learning as God is ever sanctifying me) is that oftentimes what I'm "sick of," isn't really the source what is bothering me.

Down at the root of this dreadful phrase is rebellion against God's will. After all, He has placed me into these circumstances and therefore there must be a reason for the lessons He is giving me. When I say, "I'm sick of this................," what I'm really saying is that, "I don't want to deal with this. I want this to be over. It's too painful, irritating, overwhelming, etc..." Ultimately, I am shouting, "I want out of God's will!"

Life is hard at times. We all have to face circumstances that are not pleasant. Whiny children, screaming toddlers, conflict between siblings, conflict between husbands and wives, boring jobs or schoolwork, rude bosses, financial worries, whatever...(you fill in the blank), are examples of things we might not want to deal with on a day to day basis. However, aren't these the very things that God uses to skim off the dross? Doesn't he turn up the heat to purify us so that we can have opportunity to become more like Him? (Proverbs 25:4)

So, perhaps, instead of saying, "I'm sick of this," we can submit to God's will. Instead of thrashing around in our minds and growing a painful river of bitterness in our heart, we can choose to surrender to Him.

We can discipline a whiny or screaming child in love. We can ask God what He wants us to learn in a boring job, and we can do the best of our ability while there. We can tighten our belts in our financial concerns and seek Him for His will. We can grow a marriage instead of stifling one. We can do our homework with a glad heart knowing that He is growing our minds to His glory.

It's all to His glory. All of it. What glory will we bring God if we are "sick of it?"

Once again, I see His message of "surrender."

Jesus tells us that His way is easy. I think that's true. Being bitter is really hard! You get a knot in your stomach, your head feels like it will explode and you want to run away never to return to these circumstances ever again. You get stuck in a cycle of rehashing circumstances over and over and over. The tears flow, the anger rises...only to subside for a time, and then the guilt washes over you. Yes, bitterness is hard.

Surrendering is better.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

Surrendering isn't necessary the easiest choice you'll ever make, but it is the better choice, the easier road. Stopping the cycle and making another choice will bring Him glory. It will make the path straighter, more narrow and pleasing to Him that loves us so much. He died for us. Can we not put to death our bitterness for Him?

It's a question worth pondering.