Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow

I recently re-read this book, having once checked it out from the library. I confess I skim-read it during that time, having learned many of it's principles in other material. I'm glad I spent time during this reading to ponder it a bit more deeply. I do plan on going back through to answer some of the Bible study questions in order to work out some difficulties I've been having.

I wish books like this weren't written for women alone. This book teaches truth foundational to both men and women in their walks with the Lord. That said, this book is too flowery for men. {grin}

This quote struck me between the eyes, "Quiet tension is not trust. It is simply compressed anxiety." Yep, that's been me at times. The Lord used this quote to show me that while I have made tremendous progress in trusting Him, I do have gaping areas that need my willing and complete surrender.

Then there was this one, "The load of tomorrow added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes even the strongest woman stumble." {sighs}

Following that last quote, God got to the heart of the matter, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble myself. Once again, the message of "surrender," resounds in my spirit. But to humble myself so that God may lift me up when the time is ready, that carries a promise I can hang onto!

Notes to self:

1. Don't play the "What If," Game. Instead:

A. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can happen?"
B. Accept the worst.
C. Improve on the worst in a calm fashion.

2. Don't play the "If Only," Game

A. God is sovereign and is in full control at all times. Andrew Murray has said, "I am here (1) by God's appointment (2) in His keeping (3) under His training (4) for His time." I have no idea who Mr. Murray is, but I agree with his assessment. God allowed me to be an abused child. God purposed me to walk through that experience and emerge a whole person, hurting, but not fragmented. He has used my life to His glory, not by anything I have done, but wholly by His power in me. I can therefore see what He's done for me in the past and KNOW that He will yet work in me, through the various trials and experiences of life to bring about His good purposes.
(I think I will spend my whole life learning and relearning this one.)

3. Don't play the "Why?" Game

A. You are not the only one to ask, "Why?" Read the book of Habakkuk. He asked why, but God did not tell him why. God wanted Habakkuk to trust Him. "He was to walk in the dark with God." (page 183) Boy, oh boy, I can relate! I've been walking in the dark with God since I was seven years old. I have fierce issues with being in the dark. "I heard and my inward parts trembled; at the sound my lips quivered. Decay enters my bones, and in my place I tremble. Because I must wait quietly for the day of distress, for the people to arise who will invade us." Habakkuk 3:16 Mrs. Dillow goes on to say how she can relate to Habakkuk because her body often betrays her when she had purposed to trust God in her mind. This often happens to me as well. My body rebels against trust, even when my spirit is entirely willing. "Habakkuk told his honest doubts to God. He resolved to wait on God. He chose to trust God in the dark." I've often tried to explain this to others as, "Anxiety coming in the back door." It's a good reminder to know that it's normal, that it's simply the flesh rebelling and that I can choose to surrender anyhow.

Like Mrs. Dillow I like the AMP version of Philippians 4:13, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me -- I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me."

There is no good in my flesh, none whatsoever. But God, through the Holy Spirit will do wonderful things as I step out of His way. More of you Jesus, less of me.

(Lest anyone think I've gotten victory in this area, I must confess that I have miles to walk and much to learn. Surrender is not easy for me. There are mountains of flesh to subdue. I can only offer praise that God seems bent on teaching me surrender and what God wants always seems to be what God gets. How's that for a bit of honesty?)

I highly recommend this book.