Socialization Is Not A Myth - It's the Fruit of Active Parenting

 

The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online defines the word socialize, "to make social; especially : to fit or train for society or a social environment. Children are socialized according to a given cultural pattern—H. A. Murray & C. K. Kluckhohn

(Let's hope the cultural pattern is worthy of imitating!)

Webster's 1828 Dictionary has no definition for the word socialize.  There are definitions for sociable, sociability, social, but apparently in 1828 people were not, "socializing," their children.  Perhaps they were too busy training them?

Field trip/Florida Pioneer Museum

TRA'INING, noun The act or process of drawing or educating; education. In gardening, the operation or art of forming young trees to a wall or espalier, or of causing them to grow in a shape suitable for that end. ~ Websters, 1828

Or, maybe parents had not forgotten what parenthood meant?

PA'RENT, noun
1. A father or mother; he or she that produces young. The duties of parents to their children are to maintain, protect and educate them. ~ Webster's, 1828

The American culture in 1828 had not yet turned their responsibility to educate and train children over to the government.  Parents understood that it was their God-given responsibility to raise their own children.  Parental authority had not yet been given away to a governing body. The buck stopped with Ma and Pa.

Field trip/American Victory

In 2014, that is no longer the case.  The public school system often decides when a child is educated about sex.  Homosexuality is taught as a morally neutral issue in the classroom.  In many instances, the accurate history of Judeo-Christian ethics our country was founded upon is no longer taught.  Finally, you can read how Jesus is not allowed in the classroom here and here.  The system has decided what is best for our children.  They want to socialize children in the way they think is best.  But wait, isn't that a parent's job?

Matt Walsh, a conservative blogger, recently responded to a letter he received from a public school official.  This educator asserted that homeschooling parents were hurting the system by not placing our students within it.  Furthermore, he stated, "Public school gives young people the chance to become well adjusted adults."  Wow, sounds like the public school system is quite a savior!  Perhaps, a god of sorts?

 

Field trip/Honeymoon Island/Loggerhead Turtles

In all likelihood, this educator doesn't realize he has bowed down to a false god.  Idols are like that - sneaky and subtle.  But on the other hand, I don't think that homeschoolers have helped their public school counterparts see the truth by declaring that socialization is nothing more than a myth.

I think many home educators feel it is a myth because they are actively parenting their children, and the fruit of that active work is often well socialized children.

As I look back on seventeen years of homeschooling, I don't think I fully recognized the work I was accomplishing in my children's lives as I stopped to correct them on the playground, or when I encouraged them to create boundaries for themselves.  Why would I?  I was busy loving my family, growing them up, hopefully to the glory of Christ.  I didn't fully comprehend that what I was really doing was socializing my children to be healthy and productive citizens.

Field trip/Kayaking/Crystal Springs

To me, socialization entails educating my children to live in community as responsible, competent, and compassionate citizens.  Seems easy enough, right?  It's not.

Let's think about all the tiny parts that make up the whole child, then we will break it down and spell it out.  Every student needs a social education.  There are students who are extroverted and need to be taught how to temper their outgoing nature in a manner that is sensitive to the disposition of others.  On the other end of the spectrum are introverted students who must learn how to reach out to others, yet also care for their own neurological sensitivities.  Both types of students (and everyone in between) can successfully thrive in the homeschool setting.  In fact, it is my experience that the home school environment is a superior setting in which to socialize our children.

Tae Kwon Do/Sam - six years old

The home education lifestyle provides children ample opportunity to experience a variety of people in diverse social settings.  Children are not artificially placed into same age classrooms, but are encouraged to interact with students both younger and older than themselves, as well as many adults - all while being supervised by a parent.  Whenever a need for social correction arises, a parent can encourage and correct their children on the spot.  The mentoring relationship parents develop with their children goes much farther than it would if their children were away from them six to eight hours a day.

In my own family, socializing my children is done within our day to day relationship and is tailored to each individual child.  That is an impossible task for the public school system, but it is a built in benefit for parents who spend purposeful time with their children!

So what does it take to be well functioning individual in today's culture?  Consider the following values and skills:

To value their own bodies as God values them
To value others as God does and to honor every person as God's beloved child
To lay down their lives for others
To discern need versus want
To learn self confidence based on God's evaluation of our condition
To set and uphold personal boundaries
To discern motivation and evaluate our behavior and that of others
To discern right from wrong - morality vs. immorality
To make wise choices
To use words to build up and not tear down
To care for those weaker than themselves
To participate in civic responsibilities
To esteem the elderly as wise
To let their actions speak respect
To esteem and protect the young as precious
To actively participate in community
To show interest in others
To hold and carry a discussion
To play fair
To communicate clearly and politely
To fight fair
To stand up for themselves
To give generously
To be financially responsible
To serve cheerfully and sacrificially
To know how to grieve loss and hurt, in an emotionally healthy way
To steward our world's resources
To steward our responsibilities
To work hard
To avoid peer dependence
To be supportive and thoughtful
To create margins in life which promote health and happiness

The list could go on.  You get the idea. This is socialization - the process of helping a young person become a well balanced individual who is actively loving others while living life. It is the day to day experience of parents walking hand in hand with children as they model right behavior and live out the gospel of Jesus.  Thanks be to Christ who has enabled me to successfully socialize my children at home since 1998.

Grateful for Grace,



 

 

For further reading:

Michael Smith of the Home School Legal Defense Association wrote this over at the Washington Times.

National Home Education Research Institute completed a formal study of the outcome of home educated students in 2010.