War of Words - Chapter 13 - Choosing Your Words

In the final chapter of War of Words, Mr. Tripp shares how we might be intentionally redemptive in our communication with others. This chapter is the one I refer to most often when tackling a difficult situation. 

First he reminds us that before we speak we should check our own heart.  It's akin to taking the plank out of our own eye, before we tackle the speck in someone else's eye.

1.  Have I confessed my sin to God?
2.  Have I acknowledged God's grace to me?
3.  Have I said, "No," to my selfish desires and sin nature?
4.  Have I said, "Thank you," to God for allowing me to be apart of His plan of redemption?

Next, Mr. Tripp leads us through the process of how we might choose to speak words of truth, love, restraint, grace and forgiveness. Each of these subheadings are filled with helpful questions and Scripture references that guide us in helping us to take our communication captive to Christ.

Choosing Words of Truth

There is so much meat in this chapter, but what I most like are the questions he directs us to ask ourselves as we prepare to speak.

What truths of Scripture interpret and explain this situation?  Remember we tend to interpret our circumstances, but we don't always interpret in a Biblical manner.  We must seek the Lord in our circumstances.

What does God want to show this person about himself, his love and grace, his will and his truth?  We are often a spiritually blind people.  Our circumstances loom large and the devil makes them seem even larger, which crowds the Lord from our view.  Our job is to speak the gospel to ourselves and others each day.  We need the reminder.

What does God want to show this person about himself? We are often blind to the lessons the Lord wants us to see in our circumstances.  As brothers and sisters in Christ, we must lovingly hold up the Word of God as a mirror for each other.  The healthiest decision we can make is to walk in the light, rather than hide in self-deception.  Neither should we enable our friends and family to deceive themselves.

What does God want to show this person about others?  Again, self-deception is a horrible place to be.  Are we thinking about our children, husband, friends, and neighbors in a Biblical manner?  Or are we wallowing in our sin? 

How can I best help this person to understand these things? Lectures don't work, but questions, stories, Scripture passages, metaphors might help them see?  What understanding of the person I am speaking with will help me relate better with them?

"Listen to the talk that goes on in your home.  How much of it is impatient and unkind?  How often are words spoken out of selfishness and personal desire?  How easily do outbursts of anger occur?  How often do we bring up past wrongs?  How do we fail to communicate hope? How do we fail to protect? How often do our words carry threats that we have "had it," and are about to quit?  Stop and listen, and you will see how much we need to hold our talk to this standard of love, and how often the truth we profess to speak has been distorted by sin." ~Choosing Your Words, War of Words

Convicting isn't it?

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." Ephesians 4:29-30

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Discussion: What promises of the gospel encourage you as you answer God's call to change?

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Mr. Tripp has done a remarkable job in teaching Biblical communication skills in a way in which we can all relate.  He imparts wisdom in a straightforward and non-threatening manner which inspires us to seek change. Each chapter contains bite size pieces of truth that are given with much grace and patience. I have read this book cover to cover many times, and each time I walk away with a better understanding. 

War of Words is a must have for every family. I require each of my children to read it prior to their high school graduation, and because I am a forgetful sinner, I choose to read this book at least once a year.

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Grateful for grace,