When Our Expectations Blind Us to the Miracle

"Do miracles happen anymore?  Does God really care about us?  Will He answer our prayer?"

This question has come up in several recent conversations. An aging neighbor, a disbelieving brother, and a questioning child.  As I have spoken with each person, there has been a common theme.  

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unreasonable expectation + undeniable impatience + the blame game = spiritual blindness

We want what we want and we want it now.   When we don't get what we expect, our unbelieving hearts want to play the blame game.  "Well, if God doesn't answer my prayer then it must mean He isn't there, He doesn't care, or He is indifferent to my needs. It's all His fault."  We are, essentially, saying, "If God would only do what I want, then everything would be okay. If He doesn't do what I want then I'm going to have a temper tantrum and I will blame Him for not serving me."

After all:

My brother needs to be delivered from.......

My daughter is being bullied by.....

My sister has been diagnosed with.....

My husband is addicted to.......

I was just laid off and need.....

We are homeless and must have.....

My son has a learning disability and needs two thousand dollars for......

We pray, "Lord give me guidance about my career," and then expect Him to materialize before our eyes, or give us a sign within the next twenty-four hours. What if Lord's guidance happens over weeks, months, or years?

We pray, "Lord, deliver my brother from drugs and alcohol," and then we want our loved one to wake up in the morning, a changed person.  What if delivering your loved one from drugs and alcohol means that they must go to jail first?  What if they need to become homeless and destitute before they reach the end of themselves? Are you willing to support God in those plans? Will you trust Him when His plan opposes your own ideas?  What if jail time is part of the miracle?

Our vision is limited on this side of heaven.  We lean on our own understanding.  We forget that Jesus is the CAPTAIN OF SALVATION!

"For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings." ~Hebrews 2:10

I have learned that the best thing I can do for myself is to both work at adopting the perspective of Christ, and willfully submitting to His perfect plan for myself and my loved ones - even when I don't understand.

God's ways are very different than our own.

Remember, Mary, Martha and Lazarus in John 11?

Lazarus had become seriously ill and died while Jesus was away.  Immediately, we see the disciples getting all worked up because they were worried for Jesus' safety.  Go back to Judea?  Didn't the Judeans try to stone them there?  Then the disciples argued that if Lazarus had fallen asleep, he would get better.  They wanted to stay right where they were and tried to convince Jesus that He should listen to them! Oh my gosh, does that sound familiar?  Ever try to convince the Lord that your way is the right way?

The Lord had to spell it out to His followers..."Listen, Lazarus is dead and I'm glad that we were not there, so that when I awaken Him, you will believe."  Jesus was glad because He had a higher motivation than preventing pain or suffering.

So Jesus returns to Judea and upon His arrival, Mary grievously declares,

"Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died."~John 11:21

Yet, that is exactly what had happened. Lazarus died because that was God's will. The purpose?  That all who witnessed his resurrection would believe.  God required Lazarus to suffer and die.  Mary and Martha were required to grieve and go through the process of saying goodbye to their brother. They prepared his body for burial, and laid him in the tomb. God had called them all to suffer, so that they, and everyone watching them, would believe.

Jesus could have healed Lazarus the moment he became ill.  He could have rushed back to Judea and prevented the pain and sorrow of loosing a loved one, but Jesus chose to wait two days before leaving for Judea.  He chose to let Lazarus die.  He knew it would hurt Mary and Martha - and when He experienced their grief first hand, He wept with them.

Mary and Martha had desired the miracle of healing, but what Jesus gave them was the miracle of resurrection, and an opportunity to believe.

So when we pray, we should anticipate great things, but it is best to lay down our expectations at the Cross, and trust in the goodness of Christ.  When we rest in the understanding that He knows better than we do, we are in the perfect position to watch a blessing unfold - and we can be grateful, because thanksgiving always precedes a miracle.

 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4: 6-7

 Are you working on adopting the perspective of Christ and trusting Him when life is hard?  These resources have helped me:

With joy,